Okay so I was going to go light-hearted today but I was drawing a complete blank. Oh, and speaking of drawing- sent Brenna off with her pencils and paper today to make Thanksgiving cards for shut-ins (after explaining what a shut-in was) and she returns several times to ask me how to spell dog, kill, and sorry. Interest piqued I go in to be presented with a card featuring a regulation hand turkey on the front and words I was told expressed the sentiment “I’m sorry if your dog got killed”. Oy. I guess to a four-year old if you’re old and lonely you get a dog. If you’re still old and lonely the dog must have died. Anyway, so drawing a blank I turn to the world-wide web for some blog prompts. I came up with some real gems. We’ll get to my favorite and most bizarre momentarily but first I want to ask for some help. I’d love for those of you who read these blatherings to give me a few ideas. What do you want to read about? Crazy ideas for a fictional short story? Top ten lists? Anything, everything, I want input! Alrightee- thank you random prompt generator for :
FAMILY MEMBERS WHO GIVE YOU THE CREEPS
First and foremost my brother Gary gives me the creeps. He has large piercing blue eyes. The creep factor is that they’re still piercing you when he’s sleeping because he doesn’t close his eyelids all the way. Blech, just thinking about it gives me the willies.
Next up my cousin Danny who kept me in line while he was babysitting with the threat that he had learned in karate class how to peel someone’s toenails off. It’s not just the idea of peeled off toe nails that bothers me it’s the slow, quiet way the threat was delivered all those years ago.
I find my cousin Anthony’s real estate head shots slightly creepy. Far off, ethereal gazes in wooded backgrounds. What are you thinking about? Sky-lights? Good school-districts? Fixed rate loans?
Both my cousins by the name of Sean bother me. One disappeared into the woods of Maine and had a brood of children. I think they’re living off the land and may or may not be aware there was an election. Come to think of it I need to reconnect with him in case of a zombie apocalypse. The other disappears but then reappears in the oddest places at the oddest times. Like a rash.
Cousins Veronica and Brigid are too well liked not to be creepy. How are you part of such a large family for so long and no one has a harsh word against you? People actually look forward to your company and don’t slide down the table when they see you approaching with your potato salad at a family picnic. Trickery and enchantments I say.
And finally we come to my cousin Ellen. I considered attaching a school picture to present my case but she not only gives me the creeps she makes me fear bodily harm.