For Fear That You May Read It

My blog has never been about one particular subject or another. It’s not just for family updates or my views on current events. It’s not a strictly religious blog though that influences much of my writing. It’s not my stand up comedy routine but I write in my own voice which tends toward the bizarre or sarcastic. I find myself in a bit of a quandary lately as to who I’m writing for and why.

I write for me. I write for the sheer pleasure it gives me to string words together to convey thoughts and feelings. If that were the end of it I would simply write in a Hello Kitty diary and not find myself in the present quandary. There is a difference in writing and blogging though. I blog for me also, for my need to be heard. I want people to know what I’m thinking and feeling and I want to connect with people who say “Yea! Me too” or put a thought in a persons mind that they may not have been thinking before.

I’ve come to a point where my need to write out what’s clanging around up here is battling with my need to be heard. Does anyone really to want to hear more of your musings on dirty diapers? Are you starting to come off as a bitter, lonely housewife? Motherhood is where I am in life and it affects every aspect of me so that’s what I write but it’s also my blog safety zone. But there’s more! I’m more than just a tired old mom! There are a multitude of topics I’m itching to write about because that’s where my weak ability to communicate one on one gets scratched. Husband, brother, friends, neighbors…so many words written in my head but never shared for the fear that they may read them. I need to write to be heard but there are also things no one else should hear. If I publish the post about friendship will I offend the friends I have? What if? Who will I offend? How much do I want people to really know about me? Will people be put off if I talk to much about this or that?

I have so much to say, things that are the worth putting out there for the “yea, me toos” and the seeds of thoughts planted. I could write a post a day But I fear that you, whoever you may be, will read it. So, until I get a Hello Kitty diary, an anonymous blog or throw caution to the wind expect more posts in which I blather on about laundry, Laurie Berkner and the library.

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One Response to For Fear That You May Read It

  1. My Journey says:

    I’d love to read more… But I understand. I fear I share too much, but slowly I’m learning to not care so much. So hard though.

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