Yesterday was total crap. I can’t think of a way to put it eloquently, total crap pretty much covers it. Charlie has been diagnosed with Silent Reflux. The stomach acids churn up and rather than being a spitter she is swallowing them back down; double the pain, double the fun. She coughs, splutters and gags while eating and is generally uncomfortable. We started baby Zantac which smells and tastes awful, have been thickening her milk and have to keep her upright for 20 minutes after every meal. Hopefully we’ll have a happy baby before long. Stevie has started spontaneously peeing her pants; come to think of it it doesn’t seem spontaneous at all. Not that there’s ever a convenient time for the wetting of pants but she seems to choose the most in opportune times like when feeding a gagging baby. Brenna has her own gastro intestinal issues which lead to me in the restroom like a birthing coach instructing her when to breath and push. Dear hubby came in the door yesterday evening and of course the kids were screaming, the baby began her nightly wail fest and I vented that I was ready to lose it. To which my supremely understanding husband pretty much replied that he didn’t want to hear it. Cue me taking baby away and slamming doors. Quiet time spent thinking about all the hobbies I’ll take up when the state relieves me of all these burdens and puts me in a cushy little cell after I kill that bastard. After a brief cool down he told me it’s not that he didn’t care but that “If you’re gonna lose it, all hope is lost”. My, what power can lie in so few words. The understanding that quick, harsh words may not always mean what they appear on the surface. Seeing that the big, strong man relies on me for more than clean socks. Realizing that my attempt to maintain composure day to day helps them all to do the same. Mom, family duct tape.
I don’t believe that the power of prayer lies in getting what you want but the courage, peace and strength to handle what you have and what you’re given. I write this as both little ones nap, out of the blue at the same time. Sometimes He also gives us exactly what we need.