The Power of Poop


Occasionally I make up stories on the ride to school in the morning. Impromptu, short little tales that are usually spurred by our mornings events; like the story of Gary G’Nat who was on his way to delight in some rotten strawberries in our garden when he followed the scent of an odiferous lunch box and found himself trapped in a mini-van. This morning our tale was a cautionary one and I was pretty impressed with myself for crafting it at seven a.m. so I’m posting it before I forget the details or jot it down and lose it. J. K. Rowling may have been able to hold on to that fate changing napkin but I would not.

It was the first day of summer break when Gertie jumped onto Evie’s bed and gave her a sloppy, dog breath kiss. Evie was not fond of dogs on her bed and she did what Evie did best, she screamed. A bolt of lightning struck just outside the window despite it being a beautiful cloudless morning. The gardenias sizzled into twigs. Mom came in with baby Scarlett to see what all the commotion was about and from the bed beside her, Evie’s sister, Jenna began to whine “Eeeeevie! Why are you screaming….uuuggghhh, I don’t waaaannna get up! Mom, Evie was screaming again!!” As Jenna whined mom began to change. She turned into an octopus! Which was rather helpful since she was able to make breakfast, drink coffee and feed Scarlett at the same time. The girls continued to scream and whine through the morning and every time they did, mom turned in to some sort of animal and a small natural disaster befell the house. Mom was a rhino at lunch time and there was a small river running through the house but just when Jenna and Evie were worrying how they’d get a PB&J from a rhino things got worse. Scarlett began to grunt and wiggle. Her face was red. She pooped! How would a rhino change her diaper!? The girls gagged, and squealed but they had to take care of Scarlett. As soon as the sticky was closed on the fresh diaper everything returned to normal. The girls knew they had to do something to control these powers. Jenna began to whine “Hoooow can we fix this?! It’s gonna be soooo hard! Moooomy!!!” Right there in the living room, Mom became a shark. Evie was frustrated with Jenna and terrified of shark mom. She screamed. There was a rumble, and the girls felt the house began to sink, Quick sand!!! Now the house was sinking and shark mom was gasping for water. Evie and Jenna came up with a plan. They went to the kitchen, blended together berries, prune juice and probiotic yogurt, and put it in a bottle for Scarlett. Scarlett let out a burp when she finished and they waited. Jenna was dumping another bucket of water on Mom when Scarlett began to stink. Evie and Jenna worked together without whining or screaming to change their little sister. Mom was soggy but she was mom again and the house was still and dry. It worked! From that day forward when Jenna and Evie felt like whining or screaming they thought of the shark mom and the sinking house but mostly they thought of the poopy diapers and they never screamed or whined again.

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2 Responses to The Power of Poop

  1. Pingback: The Power of Poop | my73dollarsand82cents

  2. Step aside Disney; this is the real Macoy. Great story!

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